It’s The Time You Have Lost For Your Rose That Makes Your Rose So Important
Growing up, we spent every third summer in Korea. As my mother told me, the first time we went, as soon as we walked out into the arrivals area, I started looking around at the crowds of mostly Asian faces. At first there was surprise, then I got this huge smile on my face that lasted awhile as I kept looking, amazed, at the people. At the age of six, I had never been to Korea before and was too young to explain belonging. My mother had wondered about what it was like for me in the mostly white neighborhoods and schools that were all that I knew until then. So when she saw me light up like that, she felt happy and she felt pain. Next week, I’ll circle back to some thoughts on belonging.
The summers were hot, the ice cream cooled you down, our grandparents spoiled us, we played with cousins, and we would spend pocket money on little charms and cute stationery at the corner store. And I craved books in English when I wanted some space for myself. The summer I was nine, one of my relatives suggested that I check out the books from his English classes. And that is how I discovered a translated version of The Little Prince.
It became obvious this wasn’t a child’s book but at the same time I was entranced. As the Little Prince tends his garden, caring for his lone companion rose on a planet so tiny there was barely room for them both, there is this line, “It’s the time you have lost for your rose that makes your rose so important.” Years later, in high school French class, seeing that same line brought me back to that feeling that there was a melancholic mystery that I couldn’t yet unlock: “C’est le temps que tu as perdu pour ta rose qui fait ta rose si importante.”
Now, I have been in the workforce for 30 years, a place where ROI reigns supreme. A world where you cut your losses, maximize gain, and pursue metrics. As a coach, my work with clients often centers on how dreams and even the self gets lost in this world. Using ROI logic, we design actions and choices to maximize the probability that by fertilizing this one little rose, it will turn into an entire rosebush. And if you do decide to fertilize it and it doesn’t proliferate or even dies, then you have wasted your investment by failing to achieve ROI. The zero sum game of winning and losing is a harsh way to exist.
One powerful change we can make is to shift to a mindset of VOI, or value on investment. Deciding to go into Refreshment was the ultimate VOI decision I’ve made in my life so far. But the value on “wasting time” can be seen in almost every little thing we do. By going on this ten minute walk, the ROI argument says the return on my time would be better served at the gym doing interval training. By going on this ten minute walk, the value on investment is to let my mind wander, to notice a new coffee shop that opened, and get a little free Vitamin D.
Normalize wasting time. Lose a little time every day. And see what happens to your rose.
